‘I Feel Like a Failure’: Lifestyle Star Who Shed 70lbs After Going Vegan Details Her Bitter Battle with Body Dysmorphia – Admitting She Still Sees Herself as ‘fat’ Even After Her Amazing Weight Loss
Home›Community›Self Esteem›‘I Feel Like a Failure’: Lifestyle Star Who Shed 70lbs After Going Vegan Details Her Bitter Battle with Body Dysmorphia – Admitting She Still Sees Herself as ‘fat’ Even After Her Amazing Weight Loss
A woman has revealed her struggle with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) despite losing 70 pounds.
In a YouTube video, vegan lifestyle blogger Hannah Howlett, 30, from Benson Arizona, has opened up about her struggle with positive self image.
Despite building up a loyal following of fans on her page High Carb Hannah, the health advocate has shared that she has been suffering from BDD.
‘I’m not exactly sure how long this has been going on but I’ve just realized I’ve been struggling with body dysmorphia for a long time,’ she said.
‘It’s very real and it can definitely ruin your life,’ she added.
She also explained that she also didn’t realize that BDD can be common with people who have lost a lot of weight.
‘Ever since I’ve lost weight and got healthy, I’ve been very focused on my body,’ she explained.
‘Being online and showing so much of your body, and that’s the main focus of my channel and constantly seeing yourself on camera and videos and in photos, it can really screw you up.’
She added in the description of her video: ‘Some people who have lost a lot of weight have trouble embracing their new, slimmer shapes. Throughout my weight loss journey its been very hard for me to see any changes.
‘People always told me I looked great or they could see so many differences but to me I still felt like I looked the same. Of course this has gotten better as time went on, as I learned to love myself and not focus so much on the weight on the scale or the “progress” being made but for me, I think any type of me trying to improve my body shape, makes the problem worse.
‘This phenomenon is sometimes called “phantom fat” or “phantom fat syndrome.” The medical term is body dysmorphic disorder.’
In her honest and emotional video, Hannah then acknowledged that people probably wouldn’t be able to understand how she looks at her before and after pictures and sees herself as fat, calling them ‘first world problems’.
She also admitted that sometimes she had days where she felt like nothing had changed, and even looking at her before and after photos made her feel like a failure.
‘I’ve always wanted to be a positive example and [get people to] treat their bodies right and not get themselves down for not being perfect and I do, I feel like a total hypocrite,’ she said.
But she acknowledged putting too much pressure on herself was at the heart of the issue: ‘I feel like it did start when I got done with my transformation.’